I love black thongs
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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