I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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