I didn't shave. On purpose
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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