I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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