How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize