So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize