ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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