just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize