I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You're like the curious george of whores
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize