better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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