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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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