why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Shame is for Republicans.
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