Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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