Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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