Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize