when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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