For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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