Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize