somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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