i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize