He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize