you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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