I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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