Got a toothbrush?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize