the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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