Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize