two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize