Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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