with your own penis?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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