I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize