Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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