She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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