Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize