yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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