My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize