I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize