I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize