Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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