Yo dont text me then not text me
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize