Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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