Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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