did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize