I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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