I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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