so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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