I just pynch a tree in the face
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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