you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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