If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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