Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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