party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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